Too Spiritual For Our Own Good

Yes, I said it. I’ve been TOO Spiritual in the recent months/years. I tried to go too fast, too far, and without proper guidance and consultation each step of the way. I tried to be the All-Star player, without an All-Star coach. I got a taste of a few secs of a “level 7” spiritual experience and all of sudden I think that I am no longer on level 2, but on level 7.

I forgot. I forgot all the hopes, dreams, desires that I once had. I forgot all moments when young and excited Vinit changed his mind about something because of peer pressure or what someone said. I feared not being liked/loved, and then tried to fit in and get others approval. I lost sight of the seed that was the root of all my desire. Instead of understanding the seed and removing the seed permanently, I hide it, and added a mental thought that I thought sounded good. Instead of going through, I tried to close my eyes and go around the issue. So I went along with life and so I thought all was well and I was progressing and getting closer to the goal I thought/think I wanted: Enlightenment. Or was that too a mental concept I picked up along the way?

So many moments have passed by in the last 25 years, so many thoughts racing through my mind each day…how could I realistically remember each instance and if I truly overcame my desire through love and understanding or if I just shoved it down so far that, temporarily, it was good as gone? As my Gurudev has said, mastering a desire is done with love, while controlling is done with force.

Though it is said that everything you carry internally with you, is actually only 1 second old, and that in the next moment it is possible to drop it all and achieve Oneness with Truth, I now am understanding and experiencing that there is a natural and organic process to everything, including spirituality. There is a learning process, a systematic step by step approach.

So back I come to reality, to the real me. Though it is a blow to my “highly spiritual ego”, it’s the only true way to progress. It hurts to bring light to my true state which I had fearfully hidden for so long.

So I’ve now had to stop, acknowledge this mistake, turn around, and back track my steps to where I left off. Then I shall restart with full force, utmost dedication, and faith…being very careful to make sure I do not slip back into my old habit of trying to be a frontrunner spiritual seeker. Though this time I am confident I will not, for this time around I am not alone, but have a Self-Realized Guru by my side guiding me.

Oh, how it keeps coming back to the time tested Guru and disciple relationship. Well, to be completely honest, the real me has always believed the journey to be more fun when you have someone riding along with you for the long drive.

So thank you Gurudev for Your guidance that has allowed me to arrive at this realization. Slowly I am seeing why a disciple begins to dedicate all his fruits to You and only conduct actions You have advised. You operate at a level we can only hope we can one day arrive at. But this time we make efforts not for ourself, but for You!

Like a young couple madly in love contributes all the happiness they experience to the other person and wishes only to please the other more and more, I too also am starting to sense a similiar relationship arrise within myself for my Gurudev. Is it true…is this all because of You?

Miss You God

I’m past missing a person for the most part, I think. What I miss is the Godliness in a person. I miss the uniqueness, the creativity, the small piece of the puzzle that their Body & Soul complete in the Universe. I miss God, really. You know, the One who created this whole thing. I wish I could be with Him more often. I invision a day when “I” will join Him indefinitely.

the Guru

Guru. The word is almost so played out these days, that the actual definition of what a true Guru is has been lost. Even today within India, almost anyone that grows their hair out and wears a white or orange shawl, can be called a Guru. But really, such things are far from what a true (aka Sadh) Guru is.

A true Guru is one who has realized His soul, who He really is. Self-Realization, Moksha, Enlightenment, etc… a true union with God. Everlasting happiness and bliss- is that not what every living being’s deepest, inherent desire is?

According to many Indian philosophies, it is very rare to have a living Guru in your life. Someone who has achieved the ultimate goal, and who is willing to show you the path.

My main purpose for this post is to share that I have been fortunate enough to come in contact with a true Guru, and because of this, I have felt that anything that I say here is so limited compared to the words of my Guru, or any Guru. And hence why I have not felt like posting anything recently, either on Twitter or on this blog.

If there is anything that I can say here at this moment, it would be to desire such a Guru, search out such a Guru, and get connected with Him. They could be anywhere in the world, but once you get connected, it’s like having Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and any other superstar on YOUR team, coaching you, and guiding you towards the only goal worth pursuing in this life.

I still have many things I will do and would like to do, but the underlining focus now is to follow in my Guru’s path and in His guidance. I am just beginning to experience the joy and happiness available in life with His grace.

If what I’m saying sounds crazy to you, trust me, I know. I was in the same position just a few months ago, wondering about what all these crazy disciples saw in such a person and how they had such a love and conviction to make Him the focus of their lives. It was only after I, myself, experienced the connection/love that I could begin to understand the craziness.

Sahajatma Swarup Param Guru

Death & the Purpose of Life

Death is a very interesting subject. Most everyone fears death consciously or unconsciously. It is unknown and so mysterious in many ways. On the other side though, death is the only thing in life that is certain. The time and location of death is a different story, but the fact that we are living means that we must die, sometimes much sooner, sometimes much later.

Why do we fear death? The only reason we fear death is because we see death as elimination. But we all learnt in science class that something cannot be created out of nothing and matter/energy can only change its form. Water does not “die” when it is heated to a boiling point. It simply changes its form into steam. So why would we be any different?

Take a moment to really contemplate on your own death. We are surrounded by death each and every day in this world, but rarely do we actually think it will happen to us. We always think “Oh I have a lot of life to live and a very long time until I die!”. We put death so far away that its almost as good as not dying at all. But death could strike you this next moment without you finishing this sentence! Death is closing in my friend.

So what if death is coming, what difference does it make if we are all going to die anyways? The only purpose for this post is to emphasize that only when we really understand and almost experience our own death, can we begin understanding what life is about and really start living. Yes, what I am pointing at is that even though we are physically living this moment, we are actually very dead inside. No matter how noble of a goal you have achieved or are shooting for, you have not understood the basis on life and death. It doesn’t matter what types of fancy tricks you could do with a soccer ball, but if you don’t understand how the game is played and the purpose of the game, you would just be fooling around with a ball, headed no where.

What is the purpose of life? We have all thought of it at some point or another and we all have the stereotypical answers that we usually say to ourselves. We have become complasant with those answers, but they are all borrowed answers for the most part. Things we’ve heard others say and taken as being the truth. But really, what is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of YOUR life? Why is it you are actually put on this planet for this period of time?

Nature is beautiful because everything has its purpose and place. If the trees wanted to do the ants job, the bees the job of fish, the spider the job of the bear, etc.. as crazy as it sounds, it just wouldn’t work out. It is not an ants job to go to school, study hard, become a surgeon, and save lives. A shark doesn’t say he wants to become a vegetarian because he heard vegetarians are less prone to diseases. So if nature, which we are also apart of, is perfect as it is, and life, death, and everything else, then what is that you are doing here? If the purpose has already been given to us by the Creator (higher power), what then is our task?

The one and only task (if you want to call it that) is to realize your purpose and follow it to the best of your ability til the day you die. You have a purpose, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. You might aspire to become a star basketball player or the President of the United States, but if you are only 4 feet tall or are 85 years old, it’s doubtful that that is your purpose.

Your natural talents and desires hint at your purpose. What do you enjoy doing and what have you almost naturally been good at? Just as important, having been given these talents, what is your responsibility in your given situation? Even if its cleaning that you are really good at, then your purpose may be to become a janitor. Oh man, this is where the ego goes nuts because society, especially Western society, gives importance to prestige, wealth, status, and if one says he wants to become a janitor, then its almost as good as becoming a failure in life. But realistically without each and every position, whether you are the Dalai Lama or a garbage man, the world and nature could not function. It would not be complete, whole, and beautiful. The world wouldn’t work if all the taxi drivers strived to be investment bankers, doctors, and pharmacists. This is where a lot of what the western society believes has gotten itself in trouble. Everyone wants to be Paris Hilton. But only Paris Hilton can be Paris Hilton. Only Gandhi can be Gandhi.

The Western world has more problems then we realize. Everyone is obese, marriages aren’t lasting anymore, work is becoming more important than family, love is more about sex, energy comes in a can of redbull, reality is what you watch on tv, women spend more time and money on their appearances, and loosing weight comes in a pill. What difference do technological advancements and material success make if its creating hell in our homes and personal lives? Is it not better to live simply and happier?

Contemplate on your own death, realize your purpose, and work hard doing the best job you can. You have been designed perfectly as you are and perfectly for your purpose. When confused, simply ask the Universe for guidance and then pay very close attention so you don’t miss Its reply. The more individuals can do this, the happier and healthier their lives will be. Balance will be restored to this world. True love will be the guiding force. Compassion will be the only method of communication. Selfless service will be the only motivation. Life can be a celebration. And death can be one too.

Back to the motherland

I write to you from the 5th Floor of the Paradise Building on Nepean Sea Rd in Mumbai, India. I just arrived back here after attending a spiritual retreat in the state of Rajasthan with some 600 odd youths of the Shrimad Rajchandra Asharm group.

Though this is not my first trip to India, it is the first trip here where my focus is to go deeper into my spiritual practice. Not to be so stereotypical, but I know we’ve all heard a story of someone sick and tired of their western world, quitting their job in a heartbeat to embark on their inner journey in the mysterious and mystical country of India. I had no plans of doing such a thing like quitting my job, but less than 2 weeks into my trip I found myself in the computer room of the hotel where I was staying, typing an email to my boss that I had decided that my days of selling Naan (and other flat breads that they produced) had come to an end. Though this may seem like a very impulsive decision, especially given the state of the US and world economy at the moment, it had been something churning in me for some time now that my calling in life was something much deeper.

So I am back in Mumbai and writing you at the same time that I would have been just checking into my flight back to the US. What is next I am not sure, but for once in my life I am not so much concerned about having it all “figured out”. I am finding that life is tough when we try to go against the grain with our heart and with the signs the universe is constantly showing us. I am realize that my job isn’t so much to be the best I want myself to be, but rather be the best that God or the Universe wants me to be. If a tiger had the desire to be a lion, we would laugh and say “You are a tiger and can never be a lion. No matter how much you try or how much with modern technology that could alter your external appearance, your heart would always be of a tiger and never of a lion.”

I feel similar in the sense that is it not my job anymore to “choose” my path, but rather to realize it and go with the flow of the river of life.

I will be here in India for at least a few more weeks to possibly even a few months embarking on this inner journey and also exploring possible work opportunities in the booming economy of India. I am fortunate to have many friends and family here that makes a possible transition to India fairly smooth. I am excited to see what my stay here has in store for me. Whether I am in India or the US, my focus in life has undoubtedly changed.

It is now that I write you and will continue to write you of my experiences as I jump into this with both feet and no looking back.

-Vinit

a disciple’s blog